Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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