It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
