Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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