we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
