theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize