I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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