His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
