Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
