And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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