Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
