My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
