do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i now understand why vodka
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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