you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
