I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize