When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
