she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
