I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
