I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
