I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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