he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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