woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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