hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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