You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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