if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
