Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
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