If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think I am morally bankrupt
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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