I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Everyone says I win the strip club
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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