I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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