quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
