My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
