I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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