Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
