somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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