As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
