32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
