Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
