hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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