Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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