is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
