you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
my liver is dry heaving
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