He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
