The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
