At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
