Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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