Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
