I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
