Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
