he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
