I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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