i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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