...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The Olympian is in my bed
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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