I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
