if only i could text you this smell
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize