Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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