But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
