the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
