fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
